I woke up beneath a new moon starving, starving for the innards of something rotten. Something I had been hungering for since my days in elementary school. It has long been habit for you and I, oh yes I’ve included you in this, to hunger for that which we know is poison. That thing which is filled with deception and malevolence but holds some magical ingredient that ignites our hopelessly starved brains.
We hunger for inclusion.
This dark desire clouds even the most intelligent minds. It slips inside while we sleep, curls up in our bellies as our fingers mindlessly scroll through blue screens and empty dreams. It lives inside and we…we grant it free access to disturb all our inner sanctums.
All in the pursuit of some petty little thing, to belong.
We yearn for it, don’t we? Yearn for it as though it’s some lost lover, a memory of dingy hotel rooms and warm arms we wish we could reclaim. But it isn’t that at all, despite the foolish notions we may cling to.
The desire for inclusion is indeed dark, fueled by something raw, instinctual, and uncontrollable. The desire to connect with another, with many others, is a built-in safety mechanism. In a society where social connection has always been prided, outcasts perish. They are left to be gobbled up by loneliness, by the monsters prowling our world.
Yet, it isn’t so any longer.
The outcasts, the loners, those dark little souls pushed out of every group do not perish. We are not picked off by the vultures on a warm summer day as we collapse nor are we plagued by the inability to find a fire. We survive but we do so with the chilling fear of loneliness burning a hole in the back of our heads.
I am alone, perhaps more so than you or perhaps less, but I am alone nonetheless. It is blissful in all ways but one: success. I cannot grasp the reigns of the mystical horse Success without a voice that is heard. And it seems I am silent to the world. As unfortunate as that may be, I take comfort in one small piece of fact.
There are millions of you out there, waiting to listen.
And I am hungry. Eager to swallow your silence.
Will you listen to what I have to say? Will you help me on my search to find like minded souls half engulfed in darkness and half in the silver light of hope? Tell me, will you pull up a chair and listen to me?
I desire inclusion like the rest. I yearn for the day when I am heard and others speak to me. I am a starving woman, hunting for an answer to the gnawing pain in my belly.
Tell me, will you listen?